{"id":896,"date":"2025-03-30T18:46:05","date_gmt":"2025-03-31T00:46:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/janajm.com?p=896"},"modified":"2025-07-24T12:16:34","modified_gmt":"2025-07-24T18:16:34","slug":"email-self-advocacy-mentorship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/janajm.com\/email-self-advocacy-mentorship\/","title":{"rendered":"As March ends, I\u2019m thinking about\u2026"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\u201cLandscape with a large building\u201d (c. 1818\u201383<\/a>), by Franz von Hauslab the Younger<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Once a month, I\u2019ll be sharing a curated collection of ideas I keep returning to: concepts that are surfacing in my work, questions I\u2019m wrestling with, patterns I\u2019m noticing. These posts are my way of thinking out loud and sparking some interesting conversations along the way.<\/p>\n

This series is part of an ongoing experiment in exploring how to most meaningfully share what I know while connecting with others who care about similar ideas. (See also: my weekly office hours<\/a>.)<\/p>\n

This post is the second instalment in the series. You can read February\u2019s post here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

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1) Mentorship probably won\u2019t look the way you thought it would<\/a>.<\/h2>\n

Very few of the experiences I\u2019ve learned and grown from over the years would have materialized were it not for the people who guided, supported, questioned, and encouraged me along the way. Because of this, I\u2019m a big believer in the value of mentorship: I seek it out wherever possible, and I\u2019ve maintained a regular availability for serving as a mentor to others for the past 8 years.<\/p>\n

As a result, I\u2019m also always eager to learn more about how other people experience mentorship. I was struck, in a recent reading of Gary Stevenson\u2019s The Trading Game<\/em>, by how he described an exchange with a more senior trader shortly after he started interning at Citibank:<\/p>\n

\u201cThis started him on a long monologue about trading and his journey within it, of which I did not understand much. He showed me graphs and told me many stories. I looked into Johnny\u2019s eyes, I looked at the graphs. I looked into the middle distance, and thought. Or at least, I narrowed my eyes to give the sense of thinking. I wondered if he could tell that I didn\u2019t understand.<\/p>\n

I cannot emphasize enough how much of my early experience of trading consisted of this. Of listening to traders, of nodding along sagely, of pulling the faces of a boy thinking deeply, and of understanding nothing at all.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

In my experience, those who have been dissatisfied with their experiences of mentorship have expected something a bit more substantive than this. They\u2019ve expected, for example, that…<\/p>\n

Continue reading here<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2014\u2014<\/p>\n

2) The calvary isn\u2019t coming<\/a>.<\/h2>\n

Writer, director, and actor Mark Duplass gave a 2015 keynote<\/a> at SXSW where he debunked the concept of what he calls \u2018the cavalry.\u2019 The cavalry is any person, group, or company that you think will miraculously happen to notice your tremendous ability, your amazing work, your untapped potential \u2014 and, from there, pluck you out of obscurity into success.<\/p>\n

As he explains it,<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ve all heard these amazing tales of how that 21-year-old kid had a script, and his cousin worked in the mail room at Warner Brothers, and he gave it to him, and the script got up to the head of Warner Brothers. They loved it, and they bought it for a million dollars, and got it made.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s an exciting story, but a super dangerous one, because I don\u2019t know anyone that\u2019s…\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Continue reading here<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2014\u2014<\/p>\n

3) It (mostly) happens on email<\/a>.<\/h2>\n

There\u2019s a post about email management in the workplace that tends to get a fair amount of traction on social media each time it makes the rounds. It\u2019s something along the lines of \u201cyou can be good at [job title], or you can be good at email.\u201d<\/p>\n

In my experience, the reality has been closer to \u201cyou can be good at [job title] if<\/em> you can be good at email.\u201d<\/p>\n

I say this, in part, because many of the best and most impactful opportunities that have come my way have either originated in my inbox or have had some critical portion take place over email.<\/p>\n

Some recent examples:<\/p>\n